It is the first day that Noor has gone back to school, for the afternoon session, after eating her lunch with me at home. And I find myself a little – forlorn.
It was easier for me to deal with the transition when Indira started to go in the afternoons, back when she was in maternelle (kindergarten). I guess because I had so much to do then, and so little time, since Noor was just a six month old baby.
And Indira had had a tough time getting used to going to school even only for the morning sessions; so it was actually a relief when she started to go in the afternoons as well- it was a sign that she had finally adapted/integrated.
But this afternoon, as I handed Noor over to her teacher at the door of the dortoire (it is the place where the little ones nap), I found myself overwhelmed with that same familiar urge to cry that I have experienced on other similar occasions – when I said bye-bye to Indira outside her maternelle her very first morning there, 4 years ago now; when I walked back after dropping her off on her first day at her then-new primary scool last year. I was really worried that she would have to start the process of making friends, making a place for herself all over again -though as it turned out, she did just fine and is absolutely happy there now.
But Noor seems more than ready for this step, and I am sure that I too will quickly come to treasure these 3 quiet hours I will have each afternoon to myself.
There will be no interruption at 2.30 or 3pm, which is the time when Noor usually finishes her nap and comes to me. And yet that interruption has been welcome too; it meant that I had a legitimate excuse to stop work to either play with her, or to start on household chores, since that is one more way to keep her occupied- to ask her to help and give her some little task to do.
But today, this first day, I find myself wishing that I had put this off just a little bit longer…